Aziz Sucks.

(Two posts in one night! The triumphant return of Aziz lies below my inarticulate wailings.)

So, fun fact: as moderators of this blog, Aziz and I can see which search terms people use to reach our humble cache of suckiness. Usually, we’re just someone’s disappointing pit-stop on their way to ogling Attractive Music People Matt Bellamy (lead singer of Muse) and Lyn-Z (bass-candy for Mindless Self Indulgence). Those two names probably make up just under half of the Google search terms that cause people to click on links to this very blog. And for added buzzkill, my having written those names just now will make those search terms even more likely to bring you here! Enjoy not-what-you-were-looking-for, everyone who was looking for those guys!

My point is, we can see you. We often sit around in my mom’s living room giggling about people’s inability to spell or their mind-boggling unfamiliarity with Google. For instance, some poor kid probably read all our delicious, forbidden cuss words and later wept at the staggering plethora of hyphens herein when he found our blog through the search terms “info on sharks”. Now, I’m not going to call that stupid, because I’m giving the searcher the benefit of the doubt and assuming that he or she was under the age of four. Why else would you click on a blog about basically Queen and made-up words looking for pertinent information on sharks? And let’s not even talk about someone who came to our blog after searching for “gay boys penis”. That search term basically makes up for the other half of the clickthroughs to this site, what with all the gay boys penises up ins.

But even that was not as simultaneously grotesque and confounding as the person who found our site after searching for (I shit you not) “Chad Kroeger without his shirt on.” Google illiteracy aside, this person clearly knows where to go for his or her shirtless sheeprock. Longtime readers of AzizSucks know that we loves us some Kroegs. Not only do we love His Chadliness, we love ourselves a little band called what? oh yeah, NICKELBACK. Those of you who were here at ground-level may even recall that we even ran into some legal trouble when the blog’s original name- NickelBlog - was found to be already in use. But a picture of Him shirtless? Man, what we wouldn’t give to see those rippling pecs. Sorry, man/lady. If you find such an image, send it our way, because as I mentioned, we love Chad Kroeger, and his semi-clad image is all that’s missing from AzizSucks- and our lives.

(Téodor, how did you find our blog!?!?)